White Tsubaki
by Nejitenness
Summary: People always bring sunflowers when visiting Neji's grave, but Tenten always puts white tsubaki on his gravestone. White tsubaki was actually his favorite flower, she knew this from the very beginning. Even after his death, she silently understands him better than anyone else does.


_(A/N): Highly recommended to listen to Richard Marx's Right Here Waiting while reading, it beautifully suits NejiTen._

_Tsubaki means camellia._

_Disclaimer: Naruto and the lyrics at the bottom are not mine._

* * *

><p>It wasn't anyone's fault, he told himself.<p>

Everyone was happy; smiling and laughing, hugging each other and talking joyfully about things he didn't want to pay attention to. Children were running around aimlessly; men were talking about _mild_ topics to each other, seemingly forgot about everything related to shinobi life. Women were in their best kimono, colorful with various floral patterns; pretty ornaments adorning their hair.

Including every kunoichi who was used to have their clothes soaked in fresh blood, held no emotions in their eyes not long before they killed an enemy, wasn't scared of _death. _They looked just like ordinary women right now, just as civilians, innocent ones. They looked carefree and_ harmless._ Almost each of them stood by a man's side, holding hands.

Tenten was the only exception.

Even in her most beautiful kimono, her soft makeup, and her lovely hairstyle, she looked just as the same to his eyes. Nothing had changed in her, she still looked like Konoha Weapon Mistress who wasn't afraid of killing enemies with her deadly weapons, who smiled warmly at people but held something akin to steel determination in her pretty brown eyes.

Tenten attended Hinata, Sakura, Ino and Temari's wedding as a bridesmaid without any man by her side.

The large ceremony was held for the four couples. Practically, everyone in Konoha was invited to celebrate since one of the couples was Naruto and Hinata; the new Hokage and Hyuuga leader's first daughter.

Foods and beverages with best quality were served, flowers with various colors were everywhere. Everyone was happy for the brides and grooms, that they finally married after all those hard years as shinobi and kunoichi together, after the Fourth Shinobi World War.

He could see Tenten smiling, too.

He saw her watching Temari standing with Nara Shikamaru. Everyone had known from the start that Shikamaru would end up with the Sand kunoichi. Despite the fact that they both often argued with each other and had disagreement between them, no one had been surprised when Shikamaru had announced his plan to marry her.

He also saw Shikamaru holding his bride's hand tightly. Although the man had a reputation as one of the laziest shinobi in Konoha, he was sure the Nara would be a good husband Temari needed. Their relationship was a bit amusing to some people, but they all knew how much they needed each other.

Tenten's gaze turned to Yamanaka Ino and he followed. It was not a secret—even to a man as uncaring as him—that Ino was a romantic type, so he'd been a bit surprised when he'd heard she and Sai would marry soon. Sai was probably not the most romantic guy, but it could be the reason why they were together. They were made to complete each other.

He also couldn't deny the fact that they looked good together. He noticed the way Ino talking happily to Sai and how the man listening patiently to her with a sincere smile.

Tenten's attention shifted to the couple not far from Ino and Sai. They were Haruno Sakura and Uchiha Sasuke. To say that he'd been surprised about their engagement was understandable. Honestly, he had never thought that Sasuke would change completely—probably he hadn't completely changed indeed, his eyes still held the same hardness although it looked a bit brighter—and he had never imagined the pink haired woman would finally be able to melt the last Uchiha's stone heart.

Sakura was staring at her groom lovingly while Sasuke just tightened his arm around her waist in response. The woman's long journey to get the heart of a man she had loved for years finally resulted in a happy ending. As much as he wasn't into gossips, he knew too that there was no other man for Sakura and there was no other woman for Sasuke.

Tenten's eyes turned to the last couple, and he felt a pang of guilt in his chest when those brown eyes closed immediately.

It was Naruto and Hinata, a couple he had sacrificed his life for. He was glad to see them together—Naruto needed someone like Hinata to guide his sometimes careless and reckless behavior, and Hinata needed Naruto as her protector after her cousin could no longer protect her.

He had regretted nothing about his decision to die for them. Really. He had done it in order to understand his father's decision years ago, he had done it in order to soar just as a bird and taste freedom, and he had done it because he'd thought his life was not only for himself. He was happy that he could save their lives, he was happy he could finally be free by giving his life for them.

The only thing he regretted about his death was that he left Tenten alone by choosing to die.

Hinata and Naruto were smiling at each other, their attention was not focused on the guests. Hinata had finally got Naruto's heart after years of crushing. Naruto had finally noticed Hinata that had always been there for her, thus they'd got into a relationship not long after the war and married now. He was happy for them, even if that meant he couldn't create his own happiness with Tenten.

He turned his gaze from the blissful couple and looked at Tenten again. This time, her eyes were opened and she was watching Naruto and Hinata with a smile. He knew Tenten never blamed them for his death. Never did she blame him either. She was always logical and perceptive. She was mature; she didn't even disgrace his decision to die by not crying at his funeral. She would never blame Naruto and Hinata, even if he knew watching them happy together pained her inside.

Tenten's girl friends looked so happy with their new husbands while Tenten watched silently, so beautiful to his eyes yet still looked as a true kunoichi, as if she was still in the middle of the Fourth Shinobi World War.

It wasn't anyone's fault, he convinced himself; and he silently wished that he could whisper this to her too.

* * *

><p>It was raining that night.<p>

Perfect for the newlyweds, he stupidly said to himself. And perfect for him too, because that meant he was going to watch Tenten enjoying her time alone with steaming tea while staring at the raindrops running down the surface of her window.

So there she was, sitting by her window with a cup of warm tea in both her hands. It was dark outside that he could see a bit of her reflection on the glass; she was staring emptily out of the window.

She might look like a true warrior during the day, but at night he saw her as a normal woman.

A normal woman who had lost her best friend, her teammate, her training partner since she'd been twelve.

He knew this, she was only pretending. She appeared unaffected by his death. No one knew how her eyes looked like at night. But he knew; he had known her more than anyone else thought he had. A few men had approached her after the war, but she had rejected them carefully, saying she wanted to focus on her career as a kunoichi and she was still too young to consider about a serious relationship. But he knew better than that, _she still loved him._

It made him want to laugh at how much people didn't know about.

People also thought his life had only revolved around his duty for his clan and village, his strength and his struggle to break free from his cage, and how to fulfill his _lifetime_ mission as her cousin's protector, but there was something everyone was missing.

He had loved Tenten.

As he started to think about that, a single tear rolled down Tenten's cheek and he saw it.

She was crying quietly. It was rare to see her crying even after his death. He wanted so badly to wipe away her tears, to pull her into his warm embrace and to tell her _you don't have to be sad, I'm not going anywhere because I'm still watching you;_ he wanted so badly to kiss her just like he'd seen his comrades kissing their brides today.

Dammit, he wanted to walk down the aisle with her, he wanted to see her wearing a wedding kimono just for him, he wanted to have her standing by his side as he introduced her to his family members. He wanted to bring her into Hyuuga compound, he would let her decorating their suite as she pleased, he wanted to come back from a mission to have her welcoming him at the front door, worried but happy to see him, scolding him if he hadn't been careful to avoid getting scratches. He wasn't sure about children, but if she wanted to have one or two he would gladly comply, he in fact wondered how their children would look like. He would be a good father just like his father, he would teach them everything he knew and he would always be there for them and his wife. He wanted this all not because he felt he should compete with his friends, no, but because he had thought about this ever since his death, as he'd started to regret why the hell he had never told her about his feelings.

Hell, he had dreams about living with a woman he loved too, just like Naruto, Sasuke, Shikamaru and Sai. This was unfair, an injustice if he decided to think deeply about it.

Tenten's sobs brought his attention back to the shivering woman in front of him. He knew at this point that she suffered more pain than he did.

It wasn't that she was a woman or she was weak—she really was strong. Not that he underestimated other women, but he knew Tenten was the strongest one. Behind her cheerful, energetic and warm exterior, she really was made of steel just like her weapons, she was a dragon just like her special jutsu. She did her best to pursue her goals, she wasn't afraid of fighting no matter how stronger the enemy was, she thought that women and men were equal. She was intelligent and wise, always putting others before herself. She was strong, in battles, in war and in daily life. She was perfect.

And she loved him, even if she had never said it.

The thought made his heart clench, they loved each other but never had a chance to say this? It wasn't their choice, so was it fate's decision?

Her sobs subsided a bit and she lifted her head, showing him how tears had run down her smooth skin just like the rivulets of rain on the surface of her window.

She held her breath because the moment she opened her eyes, she caught the sight of a few fresh white tsubaki leaning sweetly on the window frame.

She had picked them from a tree on the way home. Tsubaki was the flower she always brought when visiting his grave. On the other hand, Hinata always brought him sunflowers. He actually liked sunflower and its meaning, and he knew that when people asked his cousin why she always brought that particular flower, she would simply say he liked them. Therefore, people started to bring the yellow flower for him everytime they visited his grave. But Tenten knew better; never once had she brought him sunflowers. She always brought white tsubaki.

She knew he liked white tsubaki more. She knew him better than anyone else did.

No one knew this fact and Tenten also didn't tell this to anyone, even to Lee and Gai-sensei. Once on their visit together, the two Green Beasts had asked why it was white tsubaki and not sunflowers, and Tenten had only shrugged, saying it was her favorite.

She took the flowers with trembled fingers, staring at them with tearful eyes.

Slowly, but surely, she started to smile.

He knew Tenten well enough to tell it was her most sincere smile, it grew from her heart, it was really her smile, not the smile she'd displayed for the last few years since the end of the war.

And he was proud of her, proud of seeing her wiping away her own tears with her own hands and clutching the tsubaki to her chest with a smile that probably looked heartbreaking to others, but heartwarming to him. Their connection was too strong to be broken by death, for she seemed to understand that she would still always have a place in his soul.

_I'm waiting for you._

He was ready to leave for he knew she would be alright after this. Somehow he saw her back to her usual self; Tenten, the strong dragon, Konoha Weapon Mistress who would never cry in others' presence, who didn't need any man to protect her in her life. The strong, independent, determined, steel hearted fighter—she fought for her village as well as herself. He was proud of her.

The look in her eyes told him what she was thinking; she was really hoping that he would _wait_ for her in the afterlife, because she would continue on living until she finally joined him someday.

And he gladly would.

…

"_Neji, what's your favorite flower?"_

"_I don't have any."_

"_Come on, just answer!"_

"_Why?"_

"_I'm reading the meaning behind flowers. Every flower has its own meaning. To be honest I don't have any favorite flower because I like all of them! Now, what's your favorite, Neji? I will read the meaning for you."_

"_White tsubaki."_

"_Seriously?"_

"_Why?"_

"_Isn't that flower…"_

"_Don't use your own assumption. Read from the book."_

"_This flower has something to do with death and funeral. White tsubaki is considered as bad luck. It symbolizes a life of a ninja who is charged with the task of defending his clan. The ninja has a short life just like tsubaki because this flower will only live for a few days before falling to the ground as a whole, not petal by petal like sakura. It is reminiscent of the fallen ninja. Uh… for God's sake Neji, can't you stop being that dark? You're only thirteen! And you will not die that young, if that is what you really mean."_

"…"

"_You're too strong to die young. Believe me."_

"_Apart from that, I don't think that flower represents bad luck. I don't care what society thinks."_

"_Arrogant boy! Wait a minute, this flower also has another meaning."_

"_Hn."_

"_Waiting. It also means waiting. What or who exactly are you waiting for in this life, Neji?"_

"_Can we just train now before those two idiots arrive?"_

"_Ah, of course. Wait! Speaking of Lee, I promised to bring him this book titled "Five Secrets to Perfect Your Taijutsu"! God, I forgot to bring it here. Will you let me get home to take it first?"_

"_Since when have you been interested in books?"_

"_I just visited Konoha library yesterday. But Neji, I found it and I thought I could help Lee with that book, so__—__"_

"_Just hurry up."_

_She sighed. "Will you wait for me?"_

_His answer somehow came in an instant. "I will."_

…

_W__herever you go, whatever you do, I will be right here waiting for you; whatever it takes or how my heart breaks, I will be right here waiting for you._


End file.
